We’ve all done it, as you sit binge-watching the latest episode of Fixer Upper and watch in awe as Joanna blazes through the design process like she’s whipping up a cupcake.
Then your mind starts going crazy from all of the ideas and you can feel it deep down in your soul that you can totally pull this decorating thing off. So you begin only to be left feeling frustrated, very overwhelmed and ready to give up.
You see for every ounce of inspiration there are tons of things you don’t see until they smack you in the face, these are the things that nobody tells you about decorating.
Why, you might ask, well because it is intended to inspire and if the reality of it all were to be put out there it wouldn’t be as pretty and we all love pretty, right?
The truth is real life isn’t always pretty and decorating is no different. We compare ourselves to others and wish we had this or that, we do the same thing when it comes to our homes and that couldn’t be a bigger mistake.
The things you aren’t seeing are the failures, mistakes, and buys that never make the cut. You aren’t seeing the dirty laundry on the floor, crumbs on the counter, the school papers on the dining room table or the sticky syrup still left from yesterdays breakfast.
All of those things exist in every single one of our homes at one point or another so don’t allow all of the pretty pictures to cause you to forget that this is a process and those messy everyday things don’t go away just because you redecorate.
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Decorating Tips That Nobody Tells You
Time, Time and More Time: Unlike the episode you just sat through, your living room is not going to be finished in an hour, a day or even a week. Decorating is so much more than that, you are creating a home for goodness sake and ain’t nothing about that fast. Be sure to pack your patience before you tackle your home, it will be a great asset.
It takes Money: I am by no means saying you cannot create a home you love without spending a ton of money but I am saying that most of the looks you see have been created with a huge budget and most of those items don’t even stay! Did you know that?
Most of the time the client has an option to buy said items but they don’t typically come with the house.
So yes it is gorgeous and serves the purpose of inspiration but do not be fooled into thinking you can create these looks without spending a dime because it would be very difficult. It is best to go into it knowing you will need to invest in some key pieces, no matter what they are. You can absolutely find those pieces at much cheaper options than your local pottery barn but no matter what you will need to invest something.
Outside The Square: Believe it or not, no matter how perfect things seem inside the square you see on social media or a blog there is real life happening on the other side. We have all compared ourselves at some point or another and most of us have even compared our homes, I know I am guilty.
The thing is we are only able to see a perfectly styled fraction of the space, that is it, and we make ourselves believe that their entire home/life is this way all the time!
The truth is we live in our homes just like you do, we have dirty clothes on the floor and clutter piled in a corner just like you! Sometimes even more than others because we are constantly working on something.
Our house is so crazy at the moment that I would probably die if someone other than our immediate family called for an impromptu visit.
Please use these photo as points of inspiration and hope for what it can look like not a beautiful image that is there to make you feel like shit about yourself and your home because I can promise you things are very different on the other side of the square.
Blood, Sweat & Tears: This is another thing we don’t see much of and it can lead us to believe that things are fast and easy when in reality creating a home takes lots of blood, sweat and sometimes even tears, unless of course, you want to hire someone to do it for you then we have to go back to the money situation. Yes, you can save a ton by putting in some good old sweat equity but be prepared to get your hands dirty.
One Size Does Not Fit All: Lately, I have been witnessing something that I have chosen to keep quiet about because I didn’t want to stick my foot in my mouth but I am going to go for it because it is happening way too often for me ignore.
So here it goes, People are getting rid of their farmhouse decor in droves y’all!
This may come as a surprise to some of you and if you truly love farmhouse decor then by all means, stick to what you love but I am fixing to say something and some of you may completely disagree and that is okay.
There is a reason this is happening and it is the exact same reason that I made the decision to rid our home of everything farmhouse… If you are sitting with an entire house full of farmhouse decor and you still aren’t happy with your home, Prepare yourself because this might sting a little… It was never YOUR style to begin with!
Most of us jumped on the farmhouse train without a second thought, and really who can blame us when at the time it was pretty much everywhere.
The thing is what is right for one person, does not mean it is right for another. Even if that person is massively successful and creates gorgeous works of art out of the homes she designs.
In my opinion, we were all too quick to ride the train and that my friend is the sole reason I sit here today, three years after buying a home and decorating every square inch only to hate every bit of it within six months and I can promise you that you don’t want to go through that.
Do I believe that farmhouse decor has its place? Yes of course but I don’t believe it is for everyone.
Over the next several months, I believe you will begin to see many people stepping away from it and gravitating to their true design style. When it comes to your home you shouldn’t follow trends and this is a prime example.
It is much better to stick to items you know 100% that you love instead of trying to keep up with trends because you will still end up unhappy with the look of your home once the dust settles. So next time you reach for that cotton stem wreath when you know deep down it isn’t really YOU, do yourself a favor and stay true to you. I promise you won’t regret it.
You Matter: When you hire a designer/decorator the first thing they do is ask you a series of questions to find out more about you as a person. The reason they do this is to have a better understanding of the person they are dealing with because believe it or not your story matters.
The person you are today has everything to do with your story and just like in their own homes they want to create a space that best displays YOUR personality and who knows you better than you do? Even if you have never decorated a day in your life, you are your own best asset.
You know what you don’t like, you know what you do like and those things just need to be brought to the surface.
The best way I believe you can do this is by educating yourself on all things decorating. It doesn’t take much time and research to learn the basics and the more you practice the better you will be. The great news is there is totally a formula behind decorating, therefore, it can be learned.
Showroom/ Magazine Shopping: This is going to sound crazy to some but please hear me out. One of the worst things you can do is walk into a showroom and purchase a set. This is a surefire way to be left with a look that feels generic and unfinished.
Before you start screaming at me just know, I am pointing all fingers at myself right now because I have done this more times than I can count. These looks are not collected over time, they are thrown together by stores to get you to spend money buying an entire set instead of one piece and it works!
You may be terrified to do this because believe me I still am sometimes, but the end result is so worth it because your space will be filled with a mix of different pieces that you love. Start out slow and gradually you will have the confidence that you need to mix pieces. Yes, it takes more effort but you achieve so much more by doing it this way.
No matter what decorating stage you are in, you could be just starting out or in the thick of it like we are, just remember that you can do this!
People teach themselves to decorate all the time and this is not something that only those who are born with a good eye can do. Keep in mind there is a formula and it can be learned, you simply have to be willing.
For more decorating tips check out my posts here and here.
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Tracy says
Great tips! I agree with not purchasing the sets. The look is so much more appealing no matter your style when it’s curated over time instead of matching exactly.
And what you said about DIY projects was spot on!!
Ashley says
Thank you so much Tracy 😊
Emy says
I love these tips. Decorate for your needs and you will be happy. White will never work in this home. So we don’t use it. I can’t bother to wash slipcovers every week. 😉
Ashley says
Thank you so much for your sweet comment. Isn’t that the truth? If everyone would just throw the trends out and decorate the way that is best for them so many people would be much happier with their homes.
Lindsay says
Fantastic post! I totally agree about taking your time and not jumping on a trend but rather, determining your own personal style.
Ashley says
Thank you so much, Lindsay! What I wouldn’t give to be able to talk to myself three or four years ago, I would have avoided a lot of wasted time and money that’s for sure.
Jo Lynne Abbott says
Ashley, this sweet article says way more than just words. (Yes, I do use a lot of primitive things to decorate with, but I’ve done that for40 years, simply because I love the “mystery of the history” of an old wooden bench or barn door.) But you are wise beyond years. Learning what you really love and being brave enough to actually do it for yourself and your family shows growth and a desire to change if you need to change, or step away from the iPad ☺️ when you’ve done enough. I’ve definitely become a fan.
Thanks!
Jo Lynne
Ashley says
Thank you so very much Jo Lynne, you’re sweet words mean more to me than you know. 😊 I so appreciate you taking the time to stop by and you couldn’t be more right. Sometimes it can be terrifying to step out in faith and put yourself out there, not knowing if your words will resignate with others or if you’ll be accepted. So thank you so very much, your words mean the absolute world to me!
Karen says
Ashley, I like you! No nonsense information about doing what is best for you and not being ashamed to find your own style. Farmhouse be damned! Yes. Her rooms are gorgeous, but am I going to toss everything I own just to be on trend? You bet your shiplap, I’m not!
Ashley says
Karen thank you so very much! I honestly strive to always be my true self and to be honest about how things are in our home even if that means not everyone will agree or that I’ve screwed up!
Your comment truly means the world so thank you again!😊